Mori died in my arms today, August 25, 2019, and it breaks my heart. She was born on December 25, 2017 and would have been two years old this coming Christmas. 

Her death came as a surprise to me since she did not show sign of any chronic disease apart from the bleeding of her nose days before. She ate her meals regularly and played with her younger sibling, Cooper. In fact, hours before she took her last breath yesterday, she was still actively walking around the house.


She was an affectionate dog who would bounce on me at the doorstep when I arrive from work. And would pat her head in my face when she see me crying for no reason. For two months she refused to sleep in her sleeping mattress outside my room and would insist to sleep with me in my bed. So I allowed her. She just crawled below my feet and slept without a fuss. 


A week ago, my sister and I noticed blood in her nostril, thinking it was just a spot when she has period, we just wiped it off. She was so normal. Did her usual routine of jumping on me, wagging her tail, eating her meals, drinking water and playing around the house. So we did not panic.


But the blood spot went on for days. Last Saturday, I researched in the web about this condition and came across with Epistaxis, a form of disease that makes dogs or cats to nosebleed due to their inability to clot blood. This sign of severe illness is usually tumor in the head or cancer. 


So when I got back from work I told my sister about it and had to observe Mori. But she acted normal, blood had gone and she was playful again. She ate normally and there was no sign of discomfort in her movement. I caressed her head and she responded. 

That night, she didn't hop in over my bed and just slept on the floor in my bedroom. I caressed her back once more to check if she's okay. Then I drifted to sleep. 


Yesterday, Sunday, I went to SM fairview to buy something then left the mall at 12Noon. I did not immediately come home. I dropped by at the internet cafe to check on my blog. I went home at 2PM. Mori did her usual habit. She bounced at me when I entered the door and wagged her tail. 

She looked at me in the eyes so I caressed her back. I walked to the kitchen to get a plate. When I turned to see her, she laid on the floor. I noticed her slow breathing. So I moved closer and asked her what's wrong. She gently lifted her eyes on me. Stares were blank and expression seemed faded. 

I caressed her back and head for a couple of minutes. Then checked her nose. I did not notice anything, there was no blood or something. So I thought she just wanted to sleep. But then while caressing her body, her eyes slowly closed, breathing slowly faded and her body went rigid. 

She was gone. 

I lingered my stares on her and sitted motionless beside her. Then tears flowed down to my cheek. I kept asking why. Her death was so sudden. And it tore me apart. It took 15 minutes before my mind absorbed the event. It was only then that I cried hard.

I felt devastated. Her death coincided with the circumstances I had with a friend. We had a little argument over something. The discussion was so prickly it sunk deep down to my bones and shredded the fiber of my skin. The hurt I felt had doubled.


Mori's death augmented this emotional pain that I felt I have all the reason to cry, to feel distress and to be emotionally traumatized that night. Up to the last minute of her life, Mori was a loyal dog who had been with me through all my low points, helping me to go through the pain.

Perhaps, she wanted my tears some meaning this time. Up to her last breath, she wanted to sympathize with me and let me know that sorrow and tears should have reasons. I cried that night and I know it was worth the tears.

Happy International Dog Day my loyal companion. Wherever you are in your journey, I am hoping you're already free from pain and disease. I will sorely miss you. 😭😭

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