Dear Someone, Where Are You?

“I was made and meant to look for you and wait for you and become yours forever.” 
- Robert Browning

Have you ever tried writing an open letter to yourself or to anybody else including the people you have not met? 

Call it madness, but according to Writer's Digest International, scribbling an open letter is one of the most effective tools in removing clutters of day-to-day life, partly lifting off stress, pressure and boredom. This is relieving as it allows us to undergo a certain process of releasing unspoken longings, anger, frustrations and worries. 

So here I am, doing this thing for the first time, hoping to find some peace of mind.

You might think I am a bit desperate and becoming delusional but while blog walking, I read this heart-warming open letter about, well, of all topics, waiting for the right one. 

Sounds crazy but according to the blogger, this ritual will help pacify one's confused mind of excruciatingly waiting for that futuristic "the one". It eases tension and allows some realization to take place.

Hello soulmate, are you still alive? Or just trap somewhere. But wherever you are, may the soft breeze of the winds carry this letter to your hiding place and urge you to speed up your journey. I am writing this letter to make things happen.

Dear " future husband",

English dramatist, William Shakespeare, once said "Your journey will end when you meet your true love". Wow! What a cliche! But for more than 10 years, I am continue walking in this never-ending journey, wondering where it leads me.

Ever since the day I started reading about fairytale stuff, I began wondering if Prince charming is real, if there's really a sort of man like a Knight-in-a-shining armour. I remember thinking the day how I would meet you and fall madly in love and eventually sail into the sunset of our lives together.  

But as years rolled into a decade, the possibility of finding you remains a long hell of a mystery. My steps eventually dragged me to a dilapidated road of frustrations and trepidations that made the route of my journey extremely long and tedious. How long would I continue to walk before our destiny collides?

You know, this sounds absurd and a bit funny, but did you know that I'm totally loyal? Oh, whatever that means. Because for the past decades, I've never ever ventured into messy relationships, not even a date, afraid I would miss my chance of meeting you.

For so long, since I became aware how my heart would skip a beat each time I think about my future partner, or each time I see happy couples tucking each other's arms while walking in the street, I never stop longing for you. 

In college until I got a job, I met guys of different kinds but none of them caught my fancy. I withheld emotions and decided to just wait, hoping cherubs from heaven will conspire to guide your way to the road where I am traversing. 
Counting more years. Moment by moment, until "waiting" became part of my routine, but still no clear hint that you're coming so soon. 

I've exhausted all my effort to look for signs where in the heck of the universe you are hiding but to no avail. I've made novenas, called saints, made wishes through shooting stars, in falling eyelashes, in every feast day, I even tried throwing coins in a wishing well even though I looked like a complete stupid watching the coins reached the bottom of the well wondering what phenomenon would happen next. I even uttered wishes when 11:11 in the morning strikes, but you're no where to be found. 

Then people said, a soulmate should never be looked for, he will just come in due time when everything is in the right place at the right time. I wonder where's that right place. I wonder if there's really a right place for lost souls. Of course I will not complain, for God's time is always perfect. So, here I am, patiently absorbing the intricate meaning of "waiting".

But lately, it seems my patience of waiting starts to disintegrate and I could feel my weariness slowly invading my once energetic disposition. I started questioning myself if you really exist or already gone to another dimension of life. Or in the arms of somebody else. I wonder if I could still meet you.

Are you still alive? Do I need to wait until eternity? 

The scenario of my life feels like a restaurant, with choices of special meals and daily menu. Should I wait for my special order to be delivered? Or just settle for the daily menu. 

But of course I won't settle for the daily menu because you're special. I won't lose hope, for I know you are just out there, somewhere, miles away, from a distance, just waiting for God to give you a signal. I know when time calls it perfect, everything will just run smoothly and our path will finally cross. But until then, only God can decide. Our only enemy is time. But no matter how time and space and ocean separate us, I know circumstances will make ways.

True love is always worth the wait, so they say, even if there are times that I want to give up, this promise of waiting keeps my energy high and my hopes alive. Someday everything will really make sense. Someday, I will understand why I have to wait this long. Because there's you. It's still a long way ahead but I am willing to hold on. 

Each morning when I am taking my breakfast, I would throw my glances outside the window, up to the vivid horizon, watching the beautiful skyline in search of a meaning.

The vibrant rays of the romantic sunshine seem assuring me, telling me that life is some sort of a tricky puzzle game, others unlock the mystery of it earlier, the rest needs more patience and time to solve the puzzle. But the more I wait, the more I am confident that God's gift is very special. That He has carefully chosen you among the finest of the gentlest men.

Everyday a strand of hope reappears in my horizon, trying to bind the cord of confidence that seems loosen up with distress. The road of waiting is endless and rough but I just keep reminding myself that God's time is always perfect and He designs a grand plan for everyone to enjoy the beauty of life. I've never been so sure of anything. But this time I could feel the moment of our destiny to clash is just a heartbeat away.

Waiting you from a distance....

Writing an open letter is like walking to my sacred journaling space, comfortable, relieving, fun. But the feeling of being relieved is just temporary, give it three days and it's back to normal of brooding again.Haha!

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