Pandemonium



It’s crazy how my day would sometimes end up in pandemonium as if it was being consumed by whatever strong energy presents in the surrounding, which at times left me emotionally drain. 

It’s not that I am sad or troubled or struggling towards something but sometimes it feels like I am just dragging myself into a senseless state where there’s nothing I could do but to get on with all the compromises. Am I experiencing a quarter-life crisis?

It’s terribly upsetting because it feels like I am an automated machine merely following what’s being programmed, as if I am an obedient dog that wrestles to the ground when being commanded. I felt so useless. I'm stuck with stuff I don't feel like doing, so distressing to realize that I could never maximize my potentials and could not fit in.

Most often than not, I am in the middle of contemplation, pondering hard how to move forward and achieve what I always wanted.

Did I overestimate my goal? Or navigated the wrong path? I still did not hit my target. My dreams are still dangling somewhere and I am tired chasing with time.

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