Whacked Again...

I'm here again, in my little sanctuary, absorbing dreary thoughts of dejection and the creepy anticipation of the future and what's-coming-ahead in-betweens. Days seem moving too slow and nights are rolling so fast. Sequences of daily life events seem dreary and overcast and I hate being confronted with all these clutters. 

Maybe I am exhausted with everything and my system is too crammed with useless forebodings to think of valuable and happy ideas. I am tired thinking and tired analyzing why things always fall on the wrong side of the spectrum. Am I cursed?

My mind is too consumed with torment, preoccupied with failure and rejection, annoyed why I am still stuck in this desolate journey. There are concerns that seem would never go out of my system ,my dreams still left unrealized and my effort seems did not pay off.

I am whacked again with self-defeating thoughts.

Why I always feel inadequate? Why I always feel as if my life is a big joke. Why nobody wants me? Why it seems no one interested to take me in? Why I am forever wedged in isolation? Am I a nuisance? Do I bring trouble to the people I relate with? And all those self-defeating thoughts I wish would never appear again.

Maybe I need a break; maybe I need a breather and chill elsewhere, and forget all the apprehensions that are pestering in my system right now. Maybe I should free my mind from anguish and detach my thoughts on things that are unfeasible.

And think about great things in life and care about my aspirations and reconstruct my goals. The best advantage of being single is that I can always go back to the basic, if things go wrong, I can still rearrange my plans, figure out what’s best for me, what needs to be done and start all over again.

Tomorrow will be another day, another moment to savor hope, another chance to build dreams, another period to enjoy life because it is a gift itself, worthy to cherish even if it does not rotate the way I always wanted it to be.

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