Decoding a Secret Message from God

Eight days before Christmas, when everybody is anticipating a grand Christmas celebration, I was destined to experience a different "gift"..

GOD decided to solve the perplexity of the situation in a different twist. Right then, I believed the LORD loves me so much and doesn't want me to suffer further tribulation. God relayed his sacred message through His good servant, the Prince of the Church (official title of a Cardinal). It was only last New year (Jan.1, 2010) that I fully understood God's sacred message..that the event was not a mere circumstance, that it was God's way of protecting me, of shielding me.

Cardinal Gaudencio Rosales of the Archdiocese of Manila, came to Davao City to lead the culminating celebration of the Diamond Jubilee year of the Archdiocese of Davao on December 17, 2009. 

I was ecstatic with this rare encounter that I planned to post a "Note" in the social networking site painstakingly created by a Harvard dropped-out, MARK ZUCKERBERG, to express my happiness and how the Cardinal's inspiring homily had touched my life.
The Prince of the Church. His Eminence, Cardinal Gaudencio Rosales. His presence turned out to be a great blessing and my "eye opener" and finally believed God is a living God who cared so much.

And when I log-on to my account on Zuckerberg's site and started navigating the applications, it was then I discovered that I was living in the world of illusion for almost three years. That I only DREAMED a DREAM.

It was also then that I finally understood the message of the Lord why I should change direction. Of course, my first reaction was: Oh noh!why Santa Claus gave me a worst gift this Christmas? why it supposed to be this way? what had I done so wrong in life to deserve this pain?

It was a kind of pain that I would never want to experience again.

But I did not leave the battle field without launching my last bullet. So one night, I squirted every question that hanging in my mind for the past years and alas!He thundered words that made me deaf for 30 seconds. He flung in anger, squealed furiously and derided me with words only lunatic people can smilingly accept.

I was appalled with his insensitivity, why he was so rude the way he told me the truth? He could have told me gently and nicely without firing despicable lines as if I was a sordid woman who deserved to be maligned and not worthy to be respected. I have no plan to insist whatever stupidity I had, I just want to find out the truth, to clear things out.. you know, questions that bothered me for the longest period.

Was it wrong to ask? was it punishing to clarify something? granting it was the most horrible crime I committed in life, was it enough for him to sternly criticize me for being foolish? why he exploded in anger? But there's no point to search for answers, there's no point to spend every moment of my day wondering why he was very I let it go.

After releasing everything to God and a little sharing to my friends, I managed to forget everything and get on with my feet.

After hours of hours of hours of contemplating my sad fate, I finally came to terms with my destiny that God prepared something different for my life, someone's better, someone who deserved my worth. After acknowledging pain, bitterness and remorse, I welcomed 2010 with a different focus, with a different radiance from deep with in.

When he said "I regretted the fact that I showed kindness in you", I was a little bit shock as I always believed kindness should be given unconditionally without any feeling of remorse or regrets. But that's his prerogative to say what he wanted to say, anyway.

My favorite Pope, the Vicar of Jesus Christ, John Paul II the Great . He never left my side at the time I needed his guidance most. Everyday of my life I thanked him for the great inspiration and the hope I carried in my heart that after misery, everything will be fine with my life.

I implored God's presence again and asked help from every saint I could find in the Catholic faith, even those people whose names are still on the waiting list to be beatified and to be canonized. The name of my favorite Pope, John Paul II (I kept two big size posters of his image in my room), magnified in my tongue a hundred times.

Luckily, it worked!I am completely relieved now and very contented with my life. 

I don't want to give him the impression that I held bitterness in my heart..NO!I am not bitter anymore because I am totally healed now, only that I wouldn't repeat the same mistakes again--assuming things wrongly.

Rissa Singson-Kawpeng is correct when she mentioned in her "Just Breathe" column of Kerygma, August 2009: "Men will always deny preferential treatment to a girl whom they are not particularly pursuing". aray ko!

Looking back, I am still surprised how things turned incomprehensible for the past three years. Oh well, that's part of a poisonous fairytale anyway. Thank God He finally decided to interfere and solved my burden. GOD is so good all the time. 

I found a simple, yet profound verse in the bible: It is better to trust in the Lord than put a confidence in a man (Psalm 118:8)

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